It could really use larger text (I know twine is a pain with that sort of the thing, but it would help a lot with the fancier text.) I think it might also help to add in some basic background music. Here's some help on those things:
Font Size: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xf8jPbxU340
Music: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bm9Lvd1Qg4Y
The music issue I've been working on- it's a combination of not being able to commission music, not wanting to use stock tracks, and still being a beginner in composition. As for the text size, it's a bad habit- I write in very small, scribbly cursive handwriting, so reading small, cursive fonts feels normal where larger sizes feel big. Still, thanks for the feedback. I really appreciate it and will try to apply it to my next project, whatever that may be.