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(+1)

Hi I wanted to say that you may have heard this criticism before so sorry if it is repeat.

The MC name seems to be a bit too fantasy like if they are from the modern Era. If you like the name you should keep it though.
I also think the MC clothes should also fit the modern Era since his current clothes from the demo are really more fantasy Era like.

I know that the MC committed suicide so I think that should be focused a bit more 1st for the story pacing. Additionally I believe the MC should at the very least be able to stay in the woods alone for a longer period of time such as 1 day or a few hours wandering around. I just felt that the Werewolf attack was a bit too fast for a character that just entered a new world after suicide is all.

Overall I really enjoyed everything else in the visual novel. I would like to ask and say is it possible for the MC to have a bit more of a backbone and not be the typical weak or defenseless character? His current attitude is great but it would be more believable if he could back it up? This trope of a weak MC always being saved by 1 character is honestly just a bit played out in visual novels at this point. Overall just do what you think is best and thank you for letting me leave my criticism here.

(1 edit) (+1)

Thank you for the feedback. 

1- the MC's name will stick. MC's name is a name of Greek origin and an alternative for Phoenix. Meaning “dark red." All we did is change it from Feenix, to Feenyx. And is still being used in our modern era.

2- In the new rewrite of the story, the MC's clothes at first will be modernized, and he will get new clothes over time.

3- he didn't commit to death, he Wanted to commit to death but got transported. this also had been expanded on in the new rewrite of the story.

4- He won't be attacked very early in the new rewrite.

5- The MC won't stay weak forever, he will learn how to protect himself in the new rewrite

6- his fractured ribs will play a much bigger factor on his health throughout chapter one in the rewrite, combined with fear and confusion due to being in a new world.

overall, I have made the decision to scrap the original script, and rewrite it completely from scratch, and so far, it is looking very promising, and its being proofread. Rest assured, I am making sure the pacing is good, and not rushed at all.