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(1 edit) (+1)

Hey there, I'd like to provide some feedback. I've been intrigued by the looks of this game since I first heard about it on Twitter, but I'm sad to say that I found it quite disappointing. I understand it's just a demo, and that's why I'm trying to offer honest feedback/criticism without sounding rude. 

The first thing that I notice when opening the game is that it defaults to fullscreen, and the main menu music (and all music in general) seems to be really quiet. I really love the title screen and UI design, the transitions between menus feel a little bit long, but apart from that I think it looks great and fits well with the theme. 

When it came to starting the game however, the writing is where everything falls apart. Just reading the very first message, I had to re-read it a few times to make any sense of it. I continued on thinking that there was going to be more of an explanation about it, but there wasn't. Instead, it jumps straight into the main character seemingly about to commit suicide, without any warning or transitional writing. The first message could have very well been expanded upon, while keeping the same effect of a mysterious hook to a story, since it's the most important part of grabbing the reader's attention.

Moving on to the setup of the story, you quickly realize that the writing feels so rushed and rough. So much so, that it's hard to keep track of what's happening as it lacks any kind of explanation in the writing. Thing after thing constantly keeps happening at the start, with no details in the writing that help the reader not feel so overwhelmed.

Directly after waking up in the cabin, that's where the story started losing me, and I somewhat stopped paying attention because of how confused I was getting. As I said previously, I feel the writing just lacks detail as it just doesn't flow well and it seems to stay that way throughout the whole game. I kept constantly asking questions about the events that were happening before me. By the way, pressing esc to pause and ctrl to skip just doesn't work, forcing you to use the UI buttons.

When it comes to the character's dialogue, it felt completely out of place when the main character was just plain rude. None of the jokes seemed to stick, and the sound effects with the dialogue were very out of place for the atmosphere. There were some parts of the text that would continue on out of nowhere without the user's input, not letting the reader read it. I also noticed that one of the background songs suddenly cuts off in the same spot every time and just restarts. The second wolf's name does not get introduced and only gets revealed suddenly. Not to mention the slapping from him coming straight out of nowhere, making him also seem just plain rude. Then the CG also just randomly appears and doesn't transition well, making it feel out of place (But I think the same goes for the rest of them)

I would continue on, but after the coin-flipping CG I really stopped trying to read into it I'm afraid. I glossed over the rest of the text from there and it seemed to still lack everything I already talked about. I was really looking forward to this game's release but I'm sad to say it didn't deliver. However just because the writing really lacks, doesn't mean the rest of the game (Art, design, story premise, all that stuff) doesn't have great potential. At least that's what I think, that everything else has great potential, and that's why I'm writing this. I hope this helps.

(2 edits) (+3)

Don’t get me wrong, this helps a lot. And I thank you for the feedback. We will do our best to deliver a solid story with no rushing happening, and we are also working on fixing the music cutting off randomly, its a coding error which happens very often. The script is also going to get edited and fixed and be proofread. I deeply apologize for this, but know that we will fix this and hopefully come back strong, I’ll also see if I can fix the characters personalities as well. Give us another chance, we are very new to making visual novels, but we are learning and improving as we go. Thank you so much for playing the demo, and I’ll make sure the first chapter will deliver better.


Kevsky.

(+1)

"...the transitions between menus feel a little bit long, but apart from that..."

--- I'll try to make it faster.

"By the way, pressing esc to pause and ctrl to skip just doesn't work, forcing you to use the UI buttons."

-- That was because I thought some people have an issue with the skip button. However I will change it back for sure.