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Cum Vampire

A dating game in which you whore yourself out for futa~ · By Enrayne

Spelling/Grammar "Mistakes"

A topic by eamen123 created Aug 05, 2023 Views: 332 Replies: 5
Viewing posts 1 to 2
(+3)

Here are a list of issues with spelling/grammar I noticed. These aren't all 100% definitive mistakes, just things that bothered me or I would change.


-In the dream sequence on the first night, the protag says “She’ll break, sonner or later.” “Sonner” should be “Sooner.”

-The first time talking to the vendor, the protag has an internal monologue and says “Why am you even doing this?” “Am” should be “Are.”

-In the internal monologue after leaving the vendor after working there for the first day, the protagonist says “I don’t feel tired, but I guess I have nothing better to do at this hour.” It would be better if the protagonist’s inner monologue was consistent in its pronouns either always saying “I” or always saying “You.” Like the earlier example would be “Why am I even doing this?” or if you wanted the protagonist to be referred to with “you” the example from after the first day of working at the vendor could be “You don’t feel tired, but you have nothing better to do at this hour.”

-In the second dream, the protagonist says “BECAUSE YOU’RE AN ABOMINAITON!” “Abominaiton” should be “Abomination.” 

-After helping Abitha to move junk out of the basement, she says “Good work, boy.” even if your character is a girl.

-During the first sex scene with the vendor, she says “Oh, hi there, Mrs Applegate.” There should be a period after “Mrs,” like “Mrs. Applegate” since Mrs is a contraction.

-During the third dream after picking the option to submit to Rue, there’s a part where the text box reads “She laughs as you break out into panic.” This text box has the name Rue over it, but I think that because it’s narration rather than dialogue it shouldn’t have her name over it.

-I think All-Caps shouting is a little overused. Writing multiple full sentences in all-caps worsens readability. This happened in the second dream sequence.

Developer(+3)(-2)

I'm so embarrassed😅 Thank you so much for spotting these. I definitely need to do a more thorough job next time.

(+1)

You don't.
Mistakes are a part of the process as long as they are found and corrected, they are still that mistakes, not flaws.
I will stop with my word play and simply wish you luck for what seem to be an interesting project with an invested developer!
So please don't put too much pressure on yourself and enjoy the process
Oh, and by the way the music is looping when you get in and out of the shop, I only paid attention to it in the first scene so, I am not too sure how it flesh out but anyway...
Thanks for your works and efforts and I wish you a wonderful day!
Shall we create another topic thread thingie for mistakes which are not related to grammar or word plays?

Developer(+1)

Regarding music, I think I know what the problem is and how to fix it. When you enter the townhub screen, you trigger the "play" music command. I could just as easily replace it with "queue" music, so that it still starts, but doesn't restart if you already have it playing.

Thank you for your kind words. I'll be sure not to let you guys down!

You may post them right here, or in the discord, or in another thread.

(1 edit)

hi. Just wanted to ask for a Valid discord invite cause the old one was marked as invalid. I really wanna join the discord for quicker announcements on updates cause the game is REALLY GOOD and if I wasn't a broke college student id donate.

hi. Just wanted to ask for a Vail discord invite cause the old one was marked as invalid. I really wanna join the discord for quicker announcements on updates cause the game is REALLY GOOD and if I wasn't a broke college student id donate.