I've made this comment to reach out. I've read your post on here and the linked one on patron. I don't know what your going through, but I want to help. I've had the same realization about myself and it hasn't been easy since. I'm 20 about to hit 21 and I haven't done as hormones yet, and everyday feels like a clock wearing on me. I don't have people to talk to, and right now coming out to my family's impossible. I know my dad's transphobic so I wouldn't be surprised if I was disowned. My mother is a woman full of surprises so I don't know what she'd think. At this point in my life I'm unsure exactly what to do, and that's why I wanted to reach out. I read you don't have a support group and I understand that completely. It suck's because on one side of you your screaming everything is wrong and on the other side you feel your heart race knowing it's a step you have to take as if your meant to. I haven't done hormones yet, as times are tuff, so I don't know how much help I can be in that regard. I wanted to say it takes a lot of bravery to do what your doing and I hope someday I can go through my own journey, and face those fear knowing I'm content with who I am (I'm shaking right now). I don't know the events that lead you here, but I'm here for you. I think we can help each other as someone who went through and knows what to expect, and someone who has yet to start at all with dreams and aspirations. I don't know how you feel, but if you need a support group to help you overcome what ahead. I'm more than willing to offer what I can a someone rooting for you at the start line. Making that decision is hard, but if you felt half as good as I did when the realization hit then you should take pride in yourself for everything. Never feel sorry for yourself for being happy, and the gifts you have. Feel free to reach out anytime and we can talk on whatever platform you'd prefer.
-someone with problems