Cowabummer
What happened?
YOU HAVE NO IDEA YOU HAVE NO IDEAAAA THIS ISNT EXPLAINED WELL CAUSE IM STILL RECOVERING SO ITS MOSTLY JUST RAMBLING TO UNDERSTAND PROPERLY YOUD NEED TO WATCH THE SHOW
BECAUSE INEFFABLE BUREAUCRACY (ship between Gabriel, supreme archangel of all Heaven, and Beelzebub, duke of all Hell) BECAME CANON, RIGHT? AND THIS IS A SHIP BETWEEN AN ANGEL AND A DEMON
AN ANGEL AND A DEMON LIKE OUR INEFFABLE HUSBANDS (Aziraphale and Crowley) AND WHEN EVERYONE FINDA OUT ABOUT INEFFABLE BUREAUCRACY AZIRAPHALE- THE HOE, THE BITCH, THE MOTHERFUCKER- HE LITERALLY REACHES OUT FOR CROWLEY, HE FUCKING TOUCHES HIM AND WHEN GABRIEL AND BEELZEBUB LITERALLY DITCH EVERYONE AND GO OFF TOGETHER HE LOOKS AT CROWLEY WITH SUCH A HOPEFUL FACE, HOPEFUL THAT IF GABRIEL AND BEELZEBUB CAN DO IT SO CAN HE AND CROWLEY AND JUST EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENING MAKES YOU THINK "WOW IT SEEMS LIKE THESE TWO ARE FINALLY GONNA STOP DANCING AND PRANCING AROUND THEIR FEELINGS AND ADMIT THEY LOVE EACH OTHER" HAHA OH BOY WOULD YOU BE WRONG BECAUSE WHAT HAPPENS NEXT IS THE FUCKING METATRON, THE PERSON DIRECTLY UNDER GOD THEMSELVES, COMES ALONG AND DECIDES HE WANTS TO RUIN EVERYONES DAY BY OFFERING AZIRAPHALE THE JOB OF SUPREME ACLRCHANGEL OF ALL HEAVEN SINCE GABRIEL CANT DO IT ANYMORE, AND AZIRAPHALE- THE HOE, THE BITCH, THE MOTHERFUCKER- AGREES AND KAJDDJSKSOSHHWISG
HE AGREES BECAUSE THE METATRON SAID HE COULD MAKE CROWLEY AN ANGEL AGAIN AND BULLSHIT LIKE THAT AND AZIRAPHALE, FUCKING AZIRAPHALE, IS SUCH AN IDIOT, AND SO HE GOES OVER TO TELL CROWLEY, HE SAYS IT'S GOOD NEWS, AND CROWLEY IS LIKE "WHAT THE FUCK GOOD NEWS MY ASS HEAVEN IS CORRUPT HOE DO YOU NOT KNOW THAT BY NOW AFTER EVERYTHING THATS HAPPENED YOU STILL THINK THESE ASSHOLES ARE THE GOOD GUYS" AND AZIRAPHALE, THE FUCJING DUMBASS, IS LIKE "NO I CAN CHANGE IT FROM THE INSIDE" NO YOU CANT GABE COULDNT SO WHAT GUVES YOU THE IDEA YOU CAN PLEASE AZIRAPHALE YOU SWEET SUMMER CHILD LISTEN TO ME STOP THIS RIGHT NOW SO CROWLEY CONFESSES HIS LOVE TO TRY TO CONVINCE AZIRAPHALE RIGHT RIGHT AND I JSUT CANT ENCAPSULATE THIS CONFESSIONS IN WORDS YOU HAVE TO GO WATCH THE CLIP YOURSELF AND AZIRAPHALE STILL ACTS LIKE AN IDIOT SO CROWLEY ASKS "what about the bookshop" THEN AZIRAPAHLE- THE HOE, THE BITCH, THE MOTHERFUCKER- IS LIKE "NOTHING LASTS FOREVER" SHIT AND CROWLEY IS HURT BY THIS CAUSE TO HIM IT SOUNDS LIKE "YOU AND I WONT LAST FOREVER" AND SO HE PUTS HIS GLASSES BACK ON, HE PUTS HIS GLASSES THE FUCK BACK ON AND TRIES TO LEAVE, AZIRAPHALE TRIES TO TALK TO HIM AND CROWLEY SAYS "you idiot. We could have been... us." HE FUCJING SAYS THOSE EXACT VERY WORDS AND IT HURTS ME SO DEEPLY AND AZIRAPHALE LOOKS AWAY BECAUSE HES SO CONFUSED CAUSE HE WANTS TO BE WITH CROWLEY HE DOES BUT LIKE THE DENIAL AND HEAVEN BRAINWASHING IS HARD AND IT KILLS ME INSIDE TO THINK ABOUT THE WAY HE LOOKED AWAY AND CROWLEY AS A LAST DITCH EFFORT TO TRY TO CONVINCE AZIRAPHALE HE KISSES HIM AND IT OSNT A GOOD KISS ITS A DESPERATE KISS ITS AN ATTEMPT TO TELL HIM WHAT HES LEAVING KISS ITS A "PLEASE DONT LEAVE ME" KISS ITS A DESPERATE CRY FOR AZIRAPAHLE TO CHNAGE HIS MIND KISS AND AZIRAPHALE SO CLEARLY WANTS TO BE WITH CROWLEY, HE WANTS TO KISS HIM BUT HE FEELS LIKE HE CANT BECAUSS HES AN IDIOT AND SO HE JUST HOVERS HIS HANDS AROUND UNABLE TO DO ANYTHING BECAUSE OF THE CONFLICT GOING ON INSIDE HIS BRAIN OF GUILT AND WANT AND AFTER THE KISS THE IDIOT THE DUMBASS THE BITCH THE HOE THE EVERYTHING HE SAYS "I forgive you" NOOOOOOO BABY I TOHUGHT WE WERE PAST THIS, I THOUGHT WE WERE PAST YOUR IDEALOGICAL BELIEFS WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS NOOOOOOOOOOO, SO CROWLEY FUCKING LEAVES SYAING "don't bother" RIGHTFULLY AS HE SHOULD EXCEPT HE DOESNT LEAVE HE WAITS OUTSIDE NEXT TO HIS CAR BECAUSE HE HOPES HIS ANGEL WILL TURN BACK, HE STILL BELIEVES IN AZIRAPHALE TO SEE THE TRUTH RIGHT IN FRONT OF HIM THAT HEAVEN IS NOTHING BUT A BUNCH OF PEOPLE WHO THINK THEYRE BETTER THAN EVERYONE AND THAT HE LOVES CROWLEY BUT HE NEVER DOES HE LEAVES AZIRAPHALE JUST FUCKING LEAVES AND THE SEASON JUST ENDS THERE WITH THEM GOING TEHIR SEPERATE WAYS AND OUT INEFFABLE HUSBANDS BEING TORN APART BECAUSE OF A BITCH CALLED THE METATRON WHO I HOPE GOES UP IN SMOKE OR GETS HIS BY A BUS OR SOMETHING
IN FACT I WILL BREAK INTO HEAVEN AMD STEAL THE BOOK OF LIFE AND ERASE THE METATRON COMPLETELY FROM EXITSENCE SEE HOW HE LIKES THAT HUH
HOW YOU LIKE THEM APPLES BITCH
THE INEFFABLE BUREAUCRACY SHIPPERS ARE PROBABLY HAVING A PARTY WHILE EVERYONE ELSE IS CRYING AND SUFFERING
I'm throwing a cry party. ☹️
thank you 😁
Also, if you didn't read the wall of text, long story short, Crowley and Aziraphale split up because a bit- because the Metatron comes along and drags Aziraphale back to Heaven. It's a lot more devastating than it sounds because Aziraphale HAD A CHOICE. He wasn't dragged off to Heaven forcefully, he WENT of his OWN ACCORD.
HE JUST LEFT CROWLEY LIKE THAT
RIGHT HOW COUKD HE DO THIS
HE DOESNT EVEN WANT TO LEAVE CROWLEY HES JIST CONVINCING HIMSELF THAT HE DOES
NAH MAN HE'S GONNA NEED MORE THEN AN APOLOGY DANCE FOR THIS ONE, HE'S GONNA NEED A WHOLE APOLOGY ORCHESTRA, BACKUP DANCERS, HUGE STAGE, PROFESIONAL CHOREOGRAPHER, LIGHT SHOW, JUST AN APOLOGY EVERYTHING MAN-
AN APOLOGY CONCERT
yeah BUT SOME PEOPLE DONT LIKE SEASON 2 AND THEYRE SAYING THAT AT THE END AZIRAPHALE ACTED OOC
JUST BECAUSE YOUR FAV DOES SOMETHING YOU DONT LIKE DOESNT MAKE IT OOC.
The Metatron clearly manipulated Aziraphale using sweet talk, Crowley as a bargaining chip and the confusion Aziraphale had after the kiss to his advantage. And the way Aziraphale acts is actually really in character, you can tell (during the season b4 the finale) that somewhere in there he still believes "heaven good hell bad" he still has those beliefs so when they're resurfaced by a master manipulator obviously he's gonna react the way he did and retreat into his old ways of thinking.