I have some suggestions:
The MC is like talking to himself alot so it would be better to use italics or parentheses as to know he’s thinking in his mind. Use quotation marks when the characters are talking.
If possible have the MC be a bit firm in Kael's route as to make him a more believeable supportive person as to help deal with Kael's social problems and make the progress towards a romantic relationship rewarding and heartwarming. But some nsfw moments along the way.