Liked the game as a proof of concept. Very neat art style. Think the fact that the pixelated effect obscures a lot of elements suits a horror game very well.
As for changes I'd personally make:
Ease up a little on the jumpscares. For such a short game it's mostly fine, but jumpscares get old very quickly and become more annoying in the long run. More subtle things are cool, like the bed in Monika's room moving, or the phone disappearing. That sort of thing
Beside that I'd keep the monster far out of view of the camera instead of up in your face. Like with that crooked teeth monster. She looked great during the hallway jumpscare where she was a bit further away and all pixelated. You can tell it's a person (or humanoid at least), but you can't make out details and you have to fill in the blanks yourself. That stuff tends to work very well for horror games. She looked terrible in the ending close up ^^" More goofy than anything scary, in my opinion at least. But that may also be a personal thing.
Also curious why the game is set in 1997 Pripyat as that's not mentioned anywhere or pointed at anywhere, except briefly in the intro. Does the game have anything to do with the Chernobyl disaster? Since living in Pripyat in 1997 wasn't really a thing. Is it like an alternate world where the disaster never happened? Or maybe that's something that will be expanded on later. That is definitely the main thing that stuck out to me story wise. Out of any place in the world one could pick, and any time, that seems awfully specific and strange, but nothing was done with it