I think it could use some work maybe experimenting with bomb theory, and not revealing it until the big moment only allowing knowledge of a threat. Like maybe instead of the turn-around the corner slowly at the beginning, only letting them see a pair of eyes. Then the eyes slowly disappear into the darkness.
Maybe having it run past view and squeal whilst going too fast for the player to get much of a look with the low light levels. Leaving behind some feathers or something more subtle to keep with a previous suggestion. You could also possibly play Opila like she is some kind of velociraptor. This could help the scavenging for food or hunting the player idea for your remake. I also think pushing it in that direction plays into the idea it can run by you quickly like I suggested earlier. It might also add more challenges to the final part of chapter one. This could happen by adding more keys to find in the level. While having to find these extra keys you could slow Opila's charge by dodging around a corner. Plus while you run she hits a wall or something and you have a window of time before she charges again.
//This one is less important than the others!
Also when the fragments fly by the player in the end they could be predetermined animation if they aren't already. Where they all fling off to the sides giving a better view of the Jumbo Josh character. This could also help play into his apparent size with some of it bouncing when he moves.
--Update, upon seeing the big empty room from the original, I got the idea you could make it feel more like a proper play place. The playground could be more filled using stuff like slides and monkey bars. The monkey bars could connect playsets and there could be a jungle gym. Adding one of the zipline-like things where you run and grab onto one handle to move to the other side would be cool too. Here's a picture for reference:
In advance, I do recognize you are only one person, but using free models and only adding one or two playsets could probably do the trick. And the zipline-like thing could be done with a simple animation. Or it could be done by sticking the player to the object.