Excelent job so far. If the writing keeps up like this, I'll consider this my new peak for the genre.
One note though: lighting will need some more work in some scenes. E.g. in the fight with Thantos, is was not able to discern what has happend to him. If the text wouldn't have mentioned it, I still would not know what happend. Or on the Egypt inspired Server, the interior felt exessively artificial.
We will watch your career with great interest.