Wow, I am pleasantly surprised to hear you mention "A Dance with Rogues"! I have played it before, and I agree, it is perhaps the best adult game/mod I have ever played. It really is the chef's kiss gold standard, for me. I think the developer once gave an interview, and it is an interesting read for anyone interested in game development. One question was why there were so many responses in dialog that resulted in the same thing, and she said that she wanted the player to be able to respond how they personally would. This lets the player really immerse themselves in the game. Personally, I think her story writing and presentation skills are leagues above mine, and I certainly admire how well she mixes erotica and game-play. How open the game is, how much there is to do, and how you can approach it from different angles is also really worth note.
If anyone is curious, Warlockracy did a great 45 minute review of "A Dance with Rogues" (a mod for Neverwinter Nights 1) on youtube. It's worth checking out.
In regards to Dwarf Fortress, yeah, I had a similar experience. I knew about it for a long time, but I waited for the Steam Release. I wanted to get the best experience possible. I still don't think it's really worth that much money, so it's hard for me to recommend it. I think Factorio, Rimworld, or Songs of Syx are much more polished and deeper experiences for the same price. But, the developers did put a lot of heart and soul into DF in general, so I'm happy to have supported them.