A pretty interesting start, although there is still work to be done. While the whole story in itself didn't feel dragged out to me, the beginning was definitely less interesting than the rest. You should also proofread what you have already since a lot of the grammar, punctuation and co. is pretty bad. One thing that did annoyed me is how you have to click after almost every comma and such, especially in the beginning. I believe this could be replaced with just something like a 2s pause before the text continues but that may just be me. Other than this I don't really have anything negative to say; I'm assuming all the other questions I have will be answered in later builds. Can't wait to see where this goes!