I've been thinking abt killing myself since 2019...I think that day is coming.
you can't
I don't know what you're going through, I can't even begin to imagine it but whatever it is I assure you with everything in my soul that you don't have to do this. It won't make anything better.
Plenty of scuicide survivors have said they regretted it. That in that moment where they were dying they wished they hadn't done it. That they just wanted to touch safe ground again and be saved. They didn't want to die. Is that not proof enough that scuicide doesn't solve anything.
Life is short, but death is super long. Life is about suffering, and perceviering through it to come out the other side victorious. You are stronger than your pain. Sometimes it helps to look at your suffering from funny angles. Laugh at it a bit. It makes it a bit easier to fight. You're better than whatever life throws at you. I know you are.
I understand that right now you feel like its the right choice you have to do it you cant take it anymore you just want to get rid of it all but there are better ways to help yourself than this.
I'm not a professional, I don't know what to say to stop you or help you or anything ok. But you can't do this, please.