The mood of the piece comes off sarcastic and a little goofy, in a way that increases engagement for me. It made me laugh with phrases like - "As if you hated animals, you somehow had the audacity to swing the yo-yo at the dog again"; "sitting around isn't going to get you anywhere, literally and mentally"; & "Embarrassing."
The stock-photos aspect is funny and adds to the mood, and I like that you added a custom favicon.
I think the color of the linked text is a little hard to read on the grey background - maybe white links, or a darker blue, would be more visible? I don't want any of your writing to get lost in the background.
I felt great about my yo-yo victory against the dog, and then crushed when the seagulls brought me down. I feel like "hey, I could totally beat 3 seagulls!", which makes me want to try again, until I can get further in the game. 10/10 re-playability!