Y'know, in some ways, I really wish I didn't connect this. It must be nice in its own way to not feel The Terror. But I can't drive it away forever, really. It's just not who I am. Just like it's not who I am to do anything Big that would Affect Things. (Even if I could, I'm self aware enough to know I'd fuck it all up along the way.)
It's too humid here in the summers for real walks. Some people can stand it, but not me. Summer is a time of retreating as much as possible into climate controlled buildings and depression in the long sunlight, relishing the moments of stormy relief.
But... if I let The Terror overtake me, then I'm not even alive now. Not really. So I just have to have hope and support the people I care about, and when The Terror creeps up I try to let them support me.
Because I don't want to die. And I don't want to live like I'm already dead. So what else is there?
Thank you for sharing. It's a downer, but it connects. And the photos of Wales are lovely.