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Itch.io insists that AsteroidSculptor is "story rich" and I'm prone to believe it, but I don't think by playing it I could tell anyone exactly what that story is. Is it a series of incomprehensible hallucinogenic visions or an extended metaphor for our traumatized, bag-headed protagonist coming to terms with their sexuality? I have some theories, but since this is only 10% of the game's full size I don't want to pretend like I have any meaningful answers here or even that any of this review really matters at all regarding the finished product.

What I do know is that I like interesting experiences, and there's quite a few experiences in this visceral mass of weirdness that I find interesting. I like trying and failing to punch a cactus and chasing down a teleporting NPC that speaks in riddles and occasionally sings. I like exploring this carnival freak show of a town and somehow finding myself inexplicably running down a corridor filled with banana peels. I also like the feeling of making progress through impromptu exploration, even though half the time I'm not sure if I'm just running in circles and wasting time talking with NPCs that want nothing to do with me.

Also I think I'm supposed to be collecting asteroids too, though there doesn't seem to be much sculpting going on. 

What I will say is that the font is somewhat hard to read on my monitor, and it would be nice if I could increase the font size or even the game resolution somehow. Also, if I could just use X to exit menus instead of having to reach up to hit the ESC key, that would make the controls feel a little more convenient.

YVHEAD -- young man, you caught the cat tail between my lips and took the words right out. I am petrified in shock, honor and I am a little aroused too. I say often that I don't love another man, but I cannot stop contradicting myself here when I say this is the best critique I have ever done seen in my day. I have been hard at work all day implementing the final solution. By midpoint I'll call you up and to come down and get your serving. We WORSHIP fans who support fans over here.