It's got promise, but it seems a lot of the renders in this chapter are not POV style, but random angles / third person narrative style (like in the restaurant). It gives the feeling that you are not the MC, but someone else in the room watching. If you are telling a story through the MC's eyes, it would be a lot better with more POV, and if the characters look directly at you, and not everywhere else. Definitely not all the time, but more times than not, otherwise it's pretty hard to connect with any of the characters.
Not to say the camera angles are bad, they are pretty good, thus the initial statement, I just think it's a bit too many.
The sex scenes are a bit too quick, with a bit too much talk during the action. Better off to have a narrative here instead of a conversation.