please... I know you feel like shit right now and you wish you didn't have to feel that way anymore... but this isn't gonna stop it... it's not gonna fix anything... trust me it'll only make things a whole lot worse.
I’m not a professional so take what I say with a grain of salt and also please seek help from a real therapist because idk if this does more harm than good or what. But something that helps me when I think about that is to
just imagine the closest people to you. The ones who care the most about you. And how you would feel if they… left like that. I wouldn’t wish that on my worst enemy.