Just had a great crying sesh...I almost threw up about 5 or 6 times... I'm not supposed to be on my phone right now but who cares? I feel like I make everything worse. When I was born my dad's birthday was practically forgotten, my sister's felt like the other choices and felt like I was the top priority, I always break things and I make people feel bad without even realizing. I just want to be happy...I want to feel safe..
Every time my father gets drunk he threatens to punch me..I know he's just messing around but every time he says it I get scared because what if he actually does it..I know he cares about me a lot..whenever I had a concert, dance, game, ect he was always there and my mother was always at work..I made my father my favourite and my mum thought it was a cute 'daddy's girl' thing..but soon I started disliking him, he started comparing me to my sister, saying homophobic things and keeping secrets.. of course I had one of my sister, I love her and she loves me too but she's leaving for college and holidays are gonna be so terrible without her and I'm scared and she can't protect me anymore..😕