Considering that I am a cisgender computer programmer from Spain and considering how different my life experience has been from yours, I'm surprised by how much this story has emotionally resonated with me. I think writing stories like these (and sharing them with people like me, who don't know you and probably won't get to know you in person) is something extremely brave, and I really do hope it helps you to heal yourself.
I really do think that you will be able to let people love you again. But for that, you have to stop believing that there is something "broken" inside you. There is not: there's only a part of you that is afraid, and that eventually (and with a little help from your will) will stop feeling afraid and start opening up.
"He fucked the girl out of me" is a very strong phrase, but it's not true. The "girl" (the innocence, if you will) is still there and will come out eventually. Innocence can be relearned.
On a totally unrelated note, I was surprised to see GBStudio used for stories as personal as this one. I think you've done an exceptional job in both the telling of the situation and the pacing. While I don't think this piece will be the best you'll ever do, I think it's an excellent start, and I'll be following your work closely.
Sorry for my awful English :)