I'm a fan of the camera movement. I've always liked scenes that slowly reveals that the map is much larger than the camera focus XD
Just a heads up though: since I assume that this is your submission to the Sounds of Harmony contest, you'll need to make all the dialogue autoscroll (it's on the rules (https://forums.rpgmakerweb.com/index.php?threads/lets-make-a-scene-sounds-of-har...), bullet #4:
- The cutscene should start as soon as the player selected New Game on the main menu, and should play from beginning to end automatically without the player needing to provide any input.