A milestone in Video Game History (or the greatest story ever told?)
It can’t be a coincidence that I first played this game on Easter Sunday. The day where approximately 2000 years ago the what is now only the second best story of all time found it’s glorious ending. Yes Jesus you heard me. There is a new king in town and it’s name is: Sören!
This little fella immediately robbed my heart. Maybe because of his unrecognisable pixel face, his clunky and pointless movements or his one of a kind ability to die in front of every vegetable he meets. Jesus could never! There is also his (spoiler alert) deep love for his daughter Gertrude. Jesus didn’t even have a daughter. Because he wasn’t as fertile as our beloved hero and new saviour. Jesus also never battled raging carrots or ramming potato’s. Why didn’t he? Because he was weak and he lived of his fathers glory. He wished he was half the man Sören is. Even with the aid of his 12 fanboys he wouldn’t even hit anyone. Sören on the other hand is cappable of incredible unnecessary and over the top violence. Smashing the shit out of every innocent beeing that comes his way. Clear win for Sören if you ask me.
Now that this is out of the way and I absolutely convinced you to abandon your pathetic religion in favour of your new Messias Sören, it’s time to evaluate the game itself.
It’s stupid, to hard, looks like shit, the controlls are the worst, the sound design makes your ears bleed and the developer is to fat to fit into an elevator made for 8 people.
But Sören is the man!1!1