“ok so first of all, my dad’s lifelong dream… to be kidnapped. Wait who would want to be kidnapped? I know right, but that’s not even the weirdest thing. So he decided a dating app would be an effective way to find a kidnapper. One day he got stood up by his date at this very restaurant. So he looks around him and what does he see? A crazy drunk lady sitting alone at a table for two staring at her messages. He figured she must’ve been stood up as well. Obviously being the very odd man he is, he walks up to her and sits down. My mom said she’d rather be alone and drink until she’s kicked out of the place but he stayed and tried to start up conversation. After a lot of one sided convo, and I mean a lot, she finally talked to him and what did she say… she said, and I quote, “Do you know how to drive?” So he ended up driving her home as she passed out in the backseat of his car… and also barfed a bunch in the backseat of his car. Then he gave her his number. It’s the weirdest story I’ve ever heard about two people getting together. Scratch that, the weirdest one was because of sneakers and also happened in the middle of a war.”