Yeah, I'm the same person. :)
I think the gender neutral language is fine without having to add additional choice for specific pronouns but others may disagree. I guess it's a cost/benefit analysis of the extra time put into being able to choose pronouns but if it's easier for you to write modifications of scenes based on pronoun selection that's a reasonable adjustment, I'd just hope neutral pronouns would also remain an option as that would be my personal preference (I prefer to play AFAB non-binary people).
On the issue of the sex scene, maybe the asexuality gave you a more objective look. I was playing a different yandere LI VN recently, and the sex scenes in the sequel made me feel more uncomfortable, first because the author added a visual component which came out of the blue and just made me feel like clicking through the scene faster (I was expecting a before and after like in the first game) and secondly the writing wasn't great but I don't want to criticise too much as I otherwise enjoyed her games. That's before even getting into the issues triple A games have with using sex scenes. I think part of it was Castoria's voice actor was very good at making the lines sound genuine.
The character development is just my personal hopes. I have to put the appeal of yandere and yandere-like characters in the context of abuse I've suffered growing up and in a previous relationship and what that says about me so I think my hope they get a good ending is just a personal psychological need. A yandere-like person irl in a relationship who doesn't grow beyond that is going to end up in an abusive or co-dependent relationship unless their partner is very careful based on the experiences of real people with similar personality disorders (most yandere characters would be a mixture of DSM-5 clusters B and C). I've never seen it explored, usually the yandere ends up the abuser, but I could see a yandere character ending up the victim of abuse because they would be easy to manipulate emotionally.
You're welcome, you've earned the support. I'll continue to support in the future too.