Hi again,
I had a chance to get back to it and in fact replayed it from the start, this time being careful not to run out of stamina too often or money ever. The more I play it, the more I like it, and I have just paid you some money for it through this site. Really looking forward to the proper non-demo version. What you have already is almost there.
Fuyuka is an endearing character - well done, and the MC is OK too. The player can make him act like obnoxiously, but if he is reasonably decent and patient, it goes well.
If it is not obvious, the following is in praise of the plot as is, but since it is a demo, some suggestions too.
While comparisons are odious, they also a bit inevitable. Fuyuka has a bit of Silvie in her from Teaching Feeling, although Fuyuka's scars are all on the inside. There's also a bit of Yuu in her from 1Room Runaway Girl. Please don't let Fukuya get as dependant as Silvie can get. I know some players like their heroines quite yandere, but not everyone one does. I don't know how it fits the plot you have in mind but Fukuya can still be head over heels in love with the MC without being a total yandere. Yuu is a good model, she loves her MC deeply, but is also quite independent. (If you played this VN have a look at the epilogue in the gallery where Yuu is expecting her baby but also planning their new life and explaining her part time job. Very satisfying. That couple has a future. I should point out that getting the epilogue scene is a bit tricky, you have to do a few non-obvious things and then go look for it in the gallery. No prompting, and if you didn't look you would never see it.) Silvie on the other hand just seems to sink into a mire of dependency, ending up a one dimensional character. Silvie could, for example, have studied to be a proper nurse, not just the cardboard cutout she plays, and become a real asset to the MC's practice all the while remaining his devoted lover. These are not mutually exclusive goals.
Seeing Fukura taking on some meaningful role like partnering the MC in running a business, or being a mother where she uses her own horror childhood experience to do it right, might make fitting good ends to the VN. A full-on yandere end is also fine to appeal to those who like it, but make it an avoidable option please. Fukuya and the MC have the makings of proper multi-dimensional characters even in a H VN.
I was really impressed with the "confession" scene on the swings at the park - very moving for a H VN, which are mostly not even close to this well thought through in general. I also liked the recovery for that, although was initially confused. I got a couple of responses "wrong" the first time, and I was expecting a forced end when she returned the aprtment key. But instead Fukuya came back to the apartment, and then it got really confusing. When I clicked on Fukuya, a second Fukuya appeared and responded in Jpanese. I had to resort to my phone to translate what she had to say from the screen. Even then it wasn't totally clear until the park scene repeated by itslef the next day and the MC was given a "second chance". Love the principle - no dead end- but implementation could be improved.
I know for some of your other comments you prefer the Unity game engine to Ren'py, but as a player I am so pleased you did not go the Unity path. I am no fan of the Unity interface, and it deters me from playing these games. I suspect you have turned off certain Ren'py features like rolling back with the mouse wheel to alter decisions, but I hope you will re-enable them. It makes reversing an accidental or stupid mistake so much easier. Games should not be like real life where a mistake is mostly irreversible and carries consequences, sometimes disastrous. We have enough of that in real life, and we don't need it in games as well. Games are supposed to be an escape from such realities.
Also watch for other errant Jpanese remaining in the English version. I saw another one of those when I ran out stamina/food/water and Fukuya gave me another one of her "Charms of Health" - a lovely idea - but how to use them? Some hints would be good. Are they are preventive or a cure after the event? See one of the attached pictures. Another "ghost" Fukuya.
There is also an issue in the code somewhere when playing the JRPG game. You see this on playing the JRPG game:
I chose "Ignore" and the game continued with no sign of mal-operation, but under the hood? But who knows? - I hope you do.
Well, that's enough for now. Keep up the good work and I hope your troubles remain at bay. Best of luck and kind regards.