For your first game, I like the dark color scheme that gives this story a cool, mysterious vibe, from the characters to the background. I also enjoyed that it retains the element of mystery, and doesn't bombard the reader with details and exposition.
Maybe I'm just oblivious, but I didn't see the twist coming, my bad. If I have something to gripe about, it would be that the character's clothes are a bit too simple for a fantasy setting. Good luck on your next game! ^_^