Some typos up to chapter 7. Not much just every now and then. Some sentences also need work as it will repeat words accidently as well.
I feel like it would be nice to have a scene showing when you enter a new chapter, but that is just preference.
The benign narrator (before you figure things out) is VERY bothersome to me and I even started skipping those times as that broke my immersion/annoyed me ( I stopped skipping when I figured things out as it became a lot more entertaining and actually felt relevant).
Even after Figuring out WHY it was like that, I think it would be better overall for the story, other readers, etc to remove its interactions/narrations as the purpose it serves up to the WHY is almost meaningless in the grand scheme of things (Up to the reveal moment). To add to that I believe the revelation of it would have a better impact if all of it was removed up to that point.
Better yet, If you just took every narrative moment and played it as a sort of "flashback" type scene which would THEN go to the encounter. That would be much better as well.
Basically. I feel even knowing why, it hurts the story more than anything as it currently is. I mean no disrespect.
Either way. I enjoyed it up to what has been released up to this moment.
I have seen there is an apparent ability to maybe harem route. But I really see no "natural" reason why this would happen unless 1) you beat it normally once and want to see it 2) are a natural douche lmfao
And I am a fan of harem shit.
OH! Some scenes where MC & MFL are running look very weird and were distracting.
I don't feel there is enough of a story to fully rate right now. But it definitely picked up from the "revelation" moment onwards. It's definitely (as stated) a slow burn. But it REALLY is lol.
Overall though. I have some thoughts on where I think this is going/could go, and I am looking forward to the rest of it. Great work. Definitely in the top tier rank of these VN's at least for now in terms of quality & story.
P.s. Choices are pretty minor right now & are more for flavor than impact IMO. BUT, there is what? 23 chapters to go? So maybe with time that changes.
Not a big deal if you are here for story as it is interesting.