You know… that moment when… you’re doing whatever and… in that moment you feel… everything is perfect. You want to stay forever. It’s 3 am and I should be asleep. I’ve been trying to sleep. Right now my sister has music open and I’m playing rain sounds. She’s fast asleep. I’m laying on my bed and just… existing. This is one of the inly times in my life where I feel… something. A real emotion. I know it sounds so… r/im14andthisisdeep but… I haven’t really felt in such a long time that… it’s kind of weird. Feeling things. Like a baby walking for the first time. The only thing is… I feel… melancholy. Sadness with no explanation. It’s the only emotion I can feel. It’s the only emotion I’ve ever felt when I did feel something. A deep dark fear of mine is that I’ll never be happy again. I can’t fall asleep because… I feel like if I fall asleep. I’ll miss this moment. This point in time where I feel like the world as stopped turning and everything is just… peaceful…
Wow I rally am crazy huh. Oh well. That’s life isn’t it.