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This is a very good start. The artwork is excellent and the story and characters are well-designed. There are only a few, minor criticisms. The English translation needs a little bit of work. It is acceptable, but noticeable. Another thing to note is the main character being a smoker. In Russia, the majority of men smoke, but this is not true in Western Europe or America and can be a turn-off to some. For the erotic scenes, I would recommend repeating some frames so it's not just having the main character be a "one-pump chump".

КОНЕЧНО, КУРЯТ БОЛЬШЕ!?!!?!?!!?!?!!??! Я пока ехал в уник не мог найти сигарету,  никто не курил.