It sucks to see such sad experiences. I guess I never actually had sad experiences because I mostly identified with the straight boys, I just happened to like dudes at the same time. However, a lot of those interests were genuine and still are and I kinda like that about me. The downside is that the sexuality was in complete odds with the normal way that I acted--people never knew-- and those that I tell usually joke and say "prove it" because it's just nothing most people would ever guess about me. In some regards, that makes the process even harder (for me anyway). I do agree that you need to surround yourself with positive people. The older I get, the less I care for appearances and pretending to be something that I'm not. Time is finite and I choose to spend it with people that are more important to me. That's a hard transition to make, like you said, but it feels more important with the passing days