Hey guys! it's premium unleaded, I forgot my accounts password so I made a new account. Since my last review of the game I have found a place to live, sort of. But like always, I'm getting ahead of myself. I want to start at the beginning and expose the creators of this game for what they really are.
After I was on the streets someone from the game reached out to me and offered me a place to crash. It was his dads muffler shop and there was a supply closet with a tempurpedic comforter. I made it work. I was recently given a discount code for the newest expansion pack "Middle School Romance" This brings a new set of chinks to explore and play with. You start off with Nomi Kokuro, who's family just relocated from Wuhan and she wanted to be the school slut, this dirty little bitch just loved the attention. From my past experiences of hot characters having male organs I was worried I would yet again be bam-booz-eld, but the expansion included a "NCG" or No Cock Guarantee.
That's until I got to the final level, things changed. Nomi told me she wanted to text, and maybe do something else ;) but instead of using the in game virtual cellphone You're given a real number to apparently text, the game explained this is to make it more realistic and to just go with it. I was shocked to find out it's even Imessage? I texted Nomi's 'Phone Number' and recieved replies, " Hey Reggie, glad you decided to play with me even further" We chit chatted about life. The next thing asked was very stranged
"Hey Reggie, are you circumcised?"
"What ?!?!" I said, "Why would you ask that"?
"It's an important factor in how you level up silly"
"Well, I was going to, but when the Rabbi went down on me I came prematurely"
"You know you don't only have to get it at birth Reg"
Nomi went on to explain to me the benefits of getting circumcised in my early 40's , the mental clarity you'll supposedly feel, etc.. I started to feel like this was going to turn into I need to be circumcised to get any further in the game. Nomi explained how I could do it myself, and if I did there would be a huge level up and new STATS. I followed her instructions with the dental floss and bottle opener and performed the procedure right before midnight. The next thing I was asked was to send a picture, I started to text Nomi who is this? how can a video game character really need to see this? I was sent the hottest picture I've ever seen of a chink. Real or not I need to make love to Nomi, whether in real life or cyber.
I sent a picture and against my better judgment sent the foreskin via the postal system. I finally was finding out what my secret new perk was and It was an invitation to facetime.. I don't know what was palpitating more my fat stinky sweaty cock, or my heart from nervousness. Nomi answered my facetime in the smallest tube top I ever saw. She asked, what do you prefer I cover my tits in, Whipped cream or chocolate sauce. "Whipped Cream" I asnwered, chocolate sauce looks like someone took a shit on your chest. Things got hot and dirty really quick but I started to notice a weird flash in the camera. Much like the viral lawyer on TV that entered a court session with a zoom cat filter I started to realize there was no Nomi, the filter wore off and I was left staring at a man stroking his penis. I screamed in embarrassment "AHHH" he screamed knowing the gig was up "AHHHH" We both came at the same time, like a skunk or octopuses self defense mechanism, right into the camera lenses. Total whiteout. He hung up shortly after. TO EVERYONE READING THIS, there is no Nomi, yakuhama, etc.. This is a MAN playing with our EMOTIONS. Getting us to have cyber sex and falling for these characters for his own personal game. I felt like I was a character of the saw movie series and finally face to face with JIGSAW, the mastermind behind everything.
How could you do this to me? I trusted you, I got cirCUMcised for you.. I was in tears. The developed explained he read online doing this was the only defense against the COVID DELTA VARIANT & was sorry and offered me several vouchers for arbys and lowes, but he also asked if I could relocate from living in his fathers Muffler shop. So here I am yet again on the verge of homelessness, if you know any places that accept members of the LGBTQTRANS community who are always on the spectrum (Several different spectrum's) and therefore not motivated to work and needs free assistance please contact me ASAP. BE WARNED, THIS GAME ISN'T WHAT YOU THINK AT FIRST.