Yes! I think both ways you are thinking are totally doable without making it frustrating and a walkthrough is totally acceptable if you don’t show it :) When it comes to romance there are a lot of different ways to do it but making sure that you have enough moments to show your characters personality and moments that matter for the romance is always a balancing act lol
I know one of my favorite things in dragon age or other games similar is moments where the characters come to me with something they did to show how much they like the character I made or when they finally share something about themselves that make them vulnerable.
I also love when (like in origins not in inquisition) you have more then one option that gives you points so that it still feels like you are you (with your own personality) and not just hit this one option to get love (like in inquisition). It’s not a bad system to just have one choice or anything but since it sounds like you are looking to really get into customization having a choice that’s like:
Love internet is feeling down you
1 hold them close and talk to them +5
2 silently stand by them to offer support +3
3 distract them by arguing with them -1 (but then later down the tree maybe they realize what you are doing and you get a +4 or something)
Ect. And having ones that don’t improve romance but do help you friendship.
This is not a real scenario clearly but an example of some of the diversity to keep in mind for characters. If you’re going to let somebody be a silent type then make sure there are enough choices that are actions to get the rest of their personality across or if they are like anime tsundere then make sure you show that too where maybe an option has a brief negative effect but once the reason is revealed hit them with positive points. I’m not sure what kinds of personalities you are going for so I kinda picked hard ones to write for but being kind, happy, mean or whatever you pick to do should have at lest enough options to feel like a personality choice not just something you pick at the start. It doesn’t have to be every time but enough that a player is like I feel like this character has x personality and not just I wanted this character to have x personality but it feels more like there are only kind and mean options not x.
I really like the fact that you want so much customization but make sure you fallow through with each choice you give to players. I’m sure you will do well even if it’s not as crazy as what I’m suggesting because you seem really passionate about it. Sorry I got so off track I got excited by your suggestions for how you where thinking of doing it :) if you don’t show a heart or numbers next to an answer I totally think a walkthrough is fine as well. 😊