Gamers,

For those of you who have come to me seeking wisdom and insight into the chaotic world of dating the female, you have most certainly come to the right place. It is an issue which has plagued mankind since the dawn of our inception and has carried on, if not more prevalent so, into the modern age; and I have come to you bearing this guide to bestow upon you all the abilties of attaining for yourselves, a lover...

So without wasting any further of our time, let us begin your enlightenment!

Firstly, ask yourself, what kind of woman do you yearn for? Is your lust based solely on their appearance, for a gorgeous woman with a higher sexual drive than a rabbit huffed on aphrodisiac and angel dust within breeding season? Or is it simply a kind woman, who will always love and care for you, even in your darkest of hours? If either is so, then forget about it my friend. The fact that you sincerely came to this post shows that neither will ever embrace you.

But not all hope is lost! Most certainly not, my dear reader! Such women as ones aforesaid are few and far between; and I understand it may come as shock, but women are just as diverse in personality as men are! Extremely surprising that may be to you, I know. But indeed, just as men, women are far from perfect as well; and removing any generalized notions regarding the female gender is an essential first step on the road at which you begin your journey.

Alas! Now that you understand women are just as diverse and deplorable as men are, the stones paving the way to your love truly begin to unfold!

Now I hear you ask my dear friend, "If such is so, then how do I claim the fulfillment which my ancestors sought?"; and to that I say, the answer is at your very fingertips as we speak! For you to find love, you must find one alike to yourself! But if a task as such is found by you to be arduous however, I understand. This is the very reason you came to me in the first place, is it not? But I descry to you, fear not! For there is but one absolute that will guarantee your love, and that is the women of unhinged psychopathic sociopathia!

Serial killer enthusiasts, forced femdom knife play connoisseurs, any with green hair, the type of woman who loves decorating her room using the eviscerated carcasses of her neighbor's pets, the possibilities are limitless! They may prove difficult to find, yes. But once you do, they'll most certainly love you forever, as none other would love them! The perfect match, as nothing brings joy to the heart more than bringing hapiness to others!

Sure, there's always the small risk of a downward spiraling mental state with a slight side of bodily mutilation, but I digress, anything is appropriate as the price of true love!

But, of course, if you are truly a weak individual and cannot bear such a lightly layed price, there's always the "horny single MILFs in your area" advertisements on porn websites where you could try and build a romantic relationship with the wonderful scam artists of our time!

That will be all from this romantic connoisseur. I truly hope my guide comes to assist you within your love life and grant you all a most wonderful happily ever after!

Now if you excuse me, my dear wife has finally kidnapped the local paper boy constantly throwing modern drab onto our property, so we are going to have quite the feast tonight! Good day to you all!

-Sir Menerick Shitlordius I