Agree with the above comment. The writing definitely needs a bit of work. However, please don't go the same route as other VN's where many characters are written as the: "OMG, XD, I'M SO CUTESY AND RANDOM!" shtick which not only gets old pretty fast but is extremely annoying, at times feeling like a self-insert of the author?
That's a fair observation! I don't think that's the route I intend to go down, or at least not one I'd deliberately follow, but then again, no one sets out to write poorly on purpose. I mentioned it in a reply to the comment above, but some things will naturally change throughout the story, and some things won't. Everyone's mileage will vary, and if people like it, I'm glad to have them; and if they don't, I appreciate them giving it a try anyways!