your char is genderless, so you decide if they're male or female =)
yeah, I don't have problem with being yaoi as I can still read as more gender neutral most of time, but when it's NSFW it kind breaks the immersion for me when we get description of things that I don't how it is, like a choice of how to deal with a boner and some other intimate choices that it's not intuitive for females. I end up seeing my character more of a NPC than my mc.