Oh, you’re too humble. No need to apologise for the circumstances of your life. A lot of what I write is deliberately meant to be over-the-top and amusing to my readers even if it isn’t directly helpful to the development team, so please take the silly parts with a grain of salt.
All you can do is have a stone-faced Stoic attitude, hoping for the best and preparing for the worst. I believe in you! Which is rare, given how little I believe nowadays.