Indie game storeFree gamesFun gamesHorror games
Game developmentAssetsComics
SalesBundles
Jobs
(+1)

Thanks for writing this, it's a great story. The dialogues are lively, the characters are well shaped, the humor is a harsh workout for the abdominal muscles, the drama is powerful, scenes flow naturally and the pacing sits in a comfortable sweet spot so that the narrative feels just as long as it's supposed to be (something unfortunately unusual for most visual novels :p ). I loved how every single line in the story is a Chekhov's gun.

There is one element that felt a bit dissonant to me, though. Some spoilers ahead.


Baldy. It is made pretty clear in the story that Ciarán is an unreliable narrator, and Ziva's comment on schizophrenia and how schizoid personalities tend to warp reality to fit their own mental image is pretty much a full explanation for what's told in OTL (including Claire). So lights go off at the most dramatic moment, Ciarán's sleight of hand likewise fails or succeeds situationally for the best effect and graduation parties turn into airsoft battle royales. All good. But I think Baldy took it a bit too far and his constant, full defiance of common sense made it hard to keep disbelief suspended for me. I could see how this might be done on purpose to give the reader one more clue, but it's the one place where I think it's too much, lampshaded though it is.

Also, but this really is a tiny, obnoxious nitpick, this is a kinetic novel, not a VN :p


But overall, I loved it. Really looking forward to your next work :)

Haha that's ok, you are not the only one who thinks the Baldy was a bit overboard and it's understandable. I guess I simply have a thing for absurd humor and the Baldy is the kind of humor resource that strikes me fancy. Still I'm glad you liked it overall and I apreaciate your comment and insight. I'm also glad to see you figured out a lot of small details most people don't notice :)