Esme: Wait-wait hang on...hang on I gotta tell ya something....
"Wat?"
Esme giggles
Esme: I...I like someone...like looovee someone...giant...giant crush...
"who iz it?"
Esme: Well...he'z strong...and sweet and very, very handsome...and kinda a complete and total idiot but I love him anywayz...
"Holy shit. Hiz name is?"
Esme: Well...he doesn't really have a name...I tried to name him onze, but he reallllyyy didn't like it...
"Oh. Well yer sherdnt have called me mort! Confessing is really weird when you're drunk."
Esme: Yeah, 'cept iz eazier cuz we're definitely not gonna remember any of this in the mornin'-pluz if ya do I can juz blame it on alcohol...
"Ah shit. I dent haz daz escuse. Fine. Let's just trash de place and get dis out our sysem!"
