If you lose you gotta handle the consequences.
There are a few 'turn the tables' options if you're strong enough. But you gotta search for them. Explore a bit. There's also unique stuff for some of them depending on the stance you beat them in.
If you want an example, there's the harpy tengu thing where you can let her restrain you and then just choose the right options to turn the tables if you have enough strength. Im pretty sure there's more too which i don't remember.