I like the style with the omniscient narrator, although I feel like it could be a little clearer. We start off hearing things mostly from the perspective of Regular Girl, and there's not much extremely overt narration (the kind that in traditional fairytales would say things like "You see, in the town where Regular Girl lived, there were two kinds of people: unique people who had something special about them, and the unfortunate regular people. I probably don't need to explain to you that Regular Girl was of the latter variety." Instead, I picked up on the omniscient narrator idea from the fact that the second choice was choosing what the demon said! This was a little unexpected mostly because it's SO common that choice games put you firmly in the perspective and agency of one POV character, so you may need to make it a little more clear that the POV here is of a narrator, not just Regular Girl.
The conversation with the demon felt like just the right length, and the story bubbles along nicely with the kinds of choices you have -- only the last one feels "major" but the flavor and reactions that arise from the earlier choices feels worthwhile and provides amusing story interaction. Nice work so far!
Viewing post in one-eye, two-eyes, and three-eyes comments
As for more world-building -- it's a little hard for me to say since I already knew a few things about the world before playing! I recommend finding some more playtesters -- you can DM Jess, who will be back this weekend, and I'd suggest posting it in our class Slack channel too. I'm sure there are folks who would read and comment on it here.
I do suspect you'll need to explain the world not long after the current ending -- but leaving the "regular" and "unique" parts mysterious before that make for an interesting "this is a strange world, but I'm not going to spell it out" tone that I think could work to tantalize readers.