Overall, I think the choice structure is quite good, especially once the internal conflicts really kick into high gear -- Victor confronting his feelings about Henry, and then in agony over the process and result of his experimentation. All these choices feel significant even if I'm not totally sure which ones affect the outcome -- I didn't feel like any were "betrayed by the consequences," so the moment of choice is working.
The childhood synopsis, up to the point where Victor is in college, mostly feels... perfunctory? Like we're getting necessary backstory in order to get to the REAL action in college, with experiments and going on dates that Victor doesn't know are dates, that kind of thing. Makes me wonder whether it'd be possible to do some of this as flashback or with another technique, so we can start more "in the action." However, it is certainly important to make sure the player knows who Henry, Beth and Justine are before they play major roles in the story. I like how Victor's mother pushes him to get together with Beth, for instance -- but I could even see this being a flashback at the moment we first meet Beth in the story.
The pace mostly worked for me until the end, when things felt a little more linear and didn't quite "escalate" into the panicked, violent confrontation being described in the text. Shorter passages might work, and maybe with more desperate-feeling choices? (The one where you can step in front of Henry, or hide Henry's eyes etc certainly works, but that feels like a major choice, and the later section seems like it could use some minor ones too.)
Foot, definitely the foot -- great negative agency choice :D