I'm so impressed! You turned a basic interface and presentation into a very compelling set of mechanics. "Scrolling Down" is something we do every day, but in your capable narrative hands, it is an engrossing game mechanic. Similarly, the switch between first and third persona narrative, and the use of subtle typographic arrangement through the passages really facilitate immersion. All I would say moving forward is to be judicious when adding elements such as images, sound and variables. You have achieved great things with words and links alone. Make sure any new tools you add to your toolbox are here to support your storytelling, and not just clutter it. Good work!
Thank you Abe! I agree with you and Alex on my problem with the variables. I thought adding them to what I had in the first version is a good idea but it is not exactly necessary for my story. I think from this point on I will focus on building the environment though images and sounds. I already have an idea for my next game, maybe I will utilize more of what we learned then.