My biggest issues would have to be the spelling and grammar. There were a lot of mistakes which will take you out of the story. The game was pretty easy to get the good ending. Maybe the next will add more depth and challenge. The game goes by really quickly. While you aren't charging much, I would have hoped the spelling and grammar mistakes would have been caught before it was released to the public. Perhaps you can make an updated version?
The general feel of the game is enjoyable, though little replay value. I think if you get more practice in, it will help the over all quality of future games. I read you completed this in 6 weeks, which inspired me to try the same. So your game made me want to make one of my own.
Two thing this game has going for it, to me, would be it's Yaoi. Which is something I don't see much of. And it's with a nonhuman character. When you see humans every where, it's nice to see something that goes against the flow.
Hopefully you'll find my comments helpful for any future projects.