Update: New time is a 3:17! My run was nowhere near flawless, but I'm pretty proud of myself! I'll upload the video to YouTube when I can and post the link here so you can see the run.
Also! Left the game for 10-ish minutes after THE END, and got some hidden text! Just shows the level of love put into this game. I can't help the creators out finacially, but let's hope me uploading my run can get this game the attention it deserves.