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Thank you for giving it a shot!

I think I understand what you're saying. From a certain perspective, it's less of a story and more of a strange, world-exploration, read-to-find-out-more piece of fiction. I can see what you mean when you say the ending ramble is doing the story's job. It would absolutely be so much cooler if you could discover it through the story itself, recontextualising as you go. Definitely something I will be experimenting with on the next one.

I'm really happy that the format and system were interesting to you. Maybe a longer-form story in the same system would work better and I'm definitely gonna try something along those lines out in the future. Thank you for taking the time to provide such detailed feedback!