Oh dear! I do hope you are recovering well and please do not be embarrassed by your own submission / works! I promise it's really good, it's just the mixing that you have to work on.
Personally, I love to play with the higher frequencies, lowering the bass or increasing it or decreasing the mids.
But for this type of voices, just my own artistic take, I would increase the high frequencies more or make it sound a little more buzzier. Like for example, you can play around with breathiness, gender factor and a lot of other stuff too!