ok so i was able to upload the avatar by deleting the sfw variant that was in there with the nsfw variant, so what unity was telling me is that the harness and the strap were linked to the SFW variant, even though i had that disabled and was trying to upload the NSFW variant, so i just deleted the other file and i was able to upload what i wanted after without any issues, but you might want to look into that, all i know is, i dragged and dropped the file from downloads into assets, and that problem showed up when i tried to click buuild and publish, so i didnt do anything from what i could tell that was wrong.
i didnt do it that way, but i still managed to get a nsfw one and sfw one uploaded, i didnt know where to find the correct thingamajiggy's so i just did it some how and it worked lol, but thank you for responding, if i need to upload it again, i'll try it your way and see what happens, but i dont know where those correct things are, so i wouldnt be able to do it without some sort of visual on where the correct ones are located.