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Is having the best friend do anal sex with your character absolutely required to get the ability to romance her? this is my first time playing and i really dont want to do any personal anal stuff so i wanted to know if it was absolutely required to do.

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Sometimes. I have had the event not fire when romancing them, but I don't know the requirements to skip it. Also, you can just block anal stuff from content options if you never want to see it. They can changed from either the beginning of the game when making your characters name and gender, as well as from the options tab on the left.

ah thanks, ill try doing that. 

ofc the moment i turn it off, i finally get to fuck the best friend and start dating lol. i thought by turning off anal that meant i couldnt anal other people not that i couldnt get anal, really wish the wiki was more specific about it too.

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I'm fairly certain that the wiki is really out of date in some sections.