this is an incredibly special game. i had been meaning to get around to playing it, with it being the primary tyvnj2 game on my radar (due to being delightfully surprised that another team also wrote a deleuze-influenced game about a dying world that has achieved immortality, metatextually intertwined with real interpersonal experience) i cried playing this game. i cried reading the postmortems. it hit me intensely with silhouettes of just-familiar just-foreign experience and conjured forth feelings of longing and resentment that felt like resurfacing phantoms i could not help but crumble in the face of. it is an intensely sad story to me, with pockets of an intense and melancholic sweetness. i feel this aching heart-breaking sympathy for every girl and every disorganized reorganized configuration they find themselves growing, decaying, being forced, and forcing themselves into over the course of the narrative. i wanted to give Girl a hug so bad. but so did f_n, when all she wanted was to return to the soil, didn't she? i'm going to think about this game for as long as i remain as anything close to the vague shape of myself - and even if i were to change into something unrecognizable i would hope the feeling and memory of this story would stay somewhere inside my heart, something to keep me mindful. reminding me to strive for a love that does not constrict and restrain the beautiful, that understands the malleable transience of love and seeks to nurture it.
unspeakably touching. god i loved it so much.