Wow. Uh. That was horrible. In a captivating way, that is.
I think on some level Susie did care about Gail. I don't want to believe that a pretty decent chunk of the population is actively, willfully cruel enough to take advantage of someone like that while completely understanding how much harm they're causing. I think people can be several contradictory things at once, lord knows I've been. Not saying she should be forgiven. She was aware enough to know there was nothing kind about it. That's ignoring how comically awful it is that she was deliberately pulling Gail back to her past...
No, honestly, I'm desperately trying to justify being stuck with several people in my life who wouldn't understand that there was nothing consensual about any of that.
The way this shifts between making you relate to Gail (if you can, which I can), portraying SA in a voyeuristic way and shifting back has me spiraling a bit. Especially because on a meta level, the whole premise of Gail's life is written as something of a perverted fantasy. Guess it all made me feel a bit like Gail did. Aroused but not in a good way. If I'm ever in a t4t relationship I'm sure I'll end up sobbing on a floor trying to convince her (and myself) that no I'm not a chaser, I just really connected with her and GOD I hope I'm not making things worse.